Chapter 37
“I’m sorry, Leah. I’m so f**king sorry,” Xavier said as he held me tightly to his chest, kissing my hair softly, while muttering sorry continuously.
My mind barely recognized that I was being held by the same man that I had loved since childhood, the same man that broke my heart into pieces sleeping with my sister.
The very man that was currently working with my stepmother to destroy me.
I could barely think of all his misdeeds and shortcomings towards me.
All I needed now was comfort, and he was there to provide it for me.
I leaned into his hold, completely breaking down as I wailed for my little baby—the child I never got a chance to hold, and worst of all, I was never given the opportunity to watch it grow inside of me.
He held me tightly to his chest caressing my head while I cried.
My tears dampened his button-down shirt but he did not seem to mind because he tightened his hold around my waist, still muttering sorry.
I don’t know how long I stayed there for, or when my tears finally dried up until all that was left was a deep hollow void in my chest, from knowing I lost a child.
A void that I knew would never be filled again.
“Who was the father?” Xavier’s question sent tremors running down my chest.
My child’s supposedly father, that was the part I wanted to completely block out and not think about.
He must have felt the way his question made me grow rigid in his arms, and that made him curse.
“Shit! I’m sorry Leah, you understand if you don’t want to talk about it,” he said guilt laced in his tone.
“Why are you being so good to me Xavier?
I know you don’t love me one bit, so why are you being nice to me?” I asked, not caring how weak and pathetic I sounded. But I needed to know.
Why was he suddenly being good to me now when he had not been in the past.
“I know I’m not the best partner a woman can have, neither am I the most loving, honest or faithful. But you are still my friend, Leah.
You have been my best friend since I was old enough to speak, and I’ll never forget that,” he said, his voice not leaving any space for me to argue.
“Your actions confuse me.
One minute you are nice to me, then the next minute you behave like I mean nothing to you.
One minute you hate me enough to sleep with my sister, and the next you claim to love me enough to spend a fortune buying me a necklace,” I said, I probably sounded like a bitch right now for calling him out for cheating on me, while a few moments ago I was pregnant with a child that was definitely not his.
“So you know?” he asked, not bothering to deny my accusations.
“Yes. I saw you with her while you were going at it” I replied.
“I know it’s useless for me to say, but I’m sorry Leah. I’m d**n f**king sorry.
A lot was going on when Natasha and I got together.
I know it would probably sound like a bunch of excuses right now, and you probably are not going to believe me.
But just know that whatever I did Leah, I never meant to hurt you,” he said, a sigh breaking through his lips as he stared down at me with his dark grey eyes, eyes I used to love so deeply sometime ago, and now, I don’t even know how I feel anymore.
“But you did hurt me,” I said bitterly.
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